Marriage, buying homes, having kids is the table topics lately for me.
and it's only when I have a partner now, that I started to mull over them.
these are still early for me though.


Marriage.
Question : is it with the man you can't live without OR can live with? this is vital.
you wouldn't want to sign on that piece of paper only to wonder why you signed on it 6months later.
and we are talking about spending the rest of your life, with your Love.
if it's Love, this thought shouldn't appear.
Marriage is also not just the two persons in Love. His entire family is included in the package too.

Question : Live with in-laws?
所谓相见容易， 相处难。 everyone's situation is different. If your man is the only child, you know you have to stay with your in laws, esp if your man's parents are divorced.
my wish is actually to combine mine and partner's parents and stay under one roof.
两家人住在一起。很热闹， 很好。
of course, my in laws will have to be very easy going folks, kind and generous people too. then our parents can do activities together. My future house will have to be very BIG then... one room for parents, one room for in laws, one room for us, one room for entertainment and one room for kids. at least when my man and me 打拼 at work, both our parents will have a 照应 for one another.
I cannot tolerate staying with people who has no sense of hygiene though.. Eeeksss.. it's just plain disgusting.. and once I see the way certain things are mishandled, it locks in my memory forever.. and this can really make me piss and tell people off!

Kids : Just how many? One? so that i can give just the best to this one kid? all my love, attention and focus.
Two? at least my first kid will have a companion and won't be lonely?
Three? sounds nice.. but they say the middle kid will be the odd one out.. Hmmm..
of course the more the merrier! then your bank account will also be the more zeros at the back, the merrier!
kids are expensive! and imagine all the courses you want to send your kids to, besides receiving the basic education. As a parent, you ONLY want to give the best to them and enrol your kids any courses they show an interest to.

I love kids.. and don't want to regret I did not give birth earlier next time when I start enjoying motherhood. BUT! there is also a cut off age I will set, which after it reaches, I will not give birth.

Then I will travel the globe together with DA MAN exploring this world, smell the fresh air in different regions, enjoy food for all four seasons, hear interesting stories from everyone we meet till old age.
but, we can still shower our love and presents on other kids. = )
at least that's what I think now.

The man I want, is someone
whom I can become better and grow together with.
whom is a kind, loving and generous person.
a self-made man. building his career from scratch. not because of family's background support.
has DRIVE and AMBITIONS.
and I know, together we can make things work, building our own good family culture.

to keep a marriage going is not easy, it's a lifelong commitment.
Lots of understanding and patience is needed.
Give and Take alot.
Knowing when to take a step back when necessary to your partner.
also knowing how to dote on and love your partner. that does not mean showering expensive gifts.

Eg: Buying her, her favourite monthly magazine whenever you do grocery shopping, so she gets her mag first hand. or replenishing her favourite food or drinks.
Eg: Buying her a cute, nice mug, so that whenever she drinks with the mug, her heart is warm.
Eg: if she loves baking cakes, cookies for people, buy her a pair of gloves so that she don't get burns and scars.
Eg: on special occasions, you bring her out and say " 5 dresses today, any you pick provided I like, on my tab."
all these are very simple yet sweet gestures that makes your partner feel Loved.

How about you guys? What kind of gestures your man does will bring a smile on your face?