This week (3rd week), I have been a good girl going home after work.
Mood has gotten better and finally at peace a little to face myself once again and the four walls at home that has always been with me whenever I needed time out and stayed home.

I deserted the four walls at home and hated them in the past 2 weeks. I suddenly hate the peace and silence they have always given me that makes me love staying home. It was annoying! I thought the silence was horrifying!

So I opt to stay out till late at night even after work and tire myself completely so I can be a complete knock out once I am home! I wanted NOISE, wanted CROWD, wanted POLLUTION to shut out and drown all the frustrations within me! However, Noise wasn't enough for me, I needed to further intoxicate myself and make myself high, to the extent I was floating and on cloud 9.

Last Sunday afternoon, after I woke up from the previous night of unrestricted drinking with my girls at Clark Quay, I told myself  "okay, the drinkings and night outs is enough for now and time has come to restore my body and recover my energy which I lost in the past 2 weeks." BUDDHA showed me the light. My rashes from last Saturday's drinking was the worst I seen. Skin was flaking away on my limbs like sun burnt skin and I could peel  them up in sheets. All the more I affirm, that what I had enjoyed in those weeks, I had enough and now I have reached the next stage to move on. = )

The past few nights, I am back as before facing myself walking home and mulling things over under my shadow. The fact I am taking time out to walk home from train station with just me and my shadow under the moonlight, that's progress.

My cosy room was in a disastrous state, messy and cluttered just like my state of mind. Now, as I slowly chucked my thoughts into the dustbin, my room is also uncluttered bit by bit and I am clearing my moutain pile of things! I realised I had so much stuff at his place looking at the bags of contains he brought over which I left on the floor, piling up. GAG!

Now, time to re-arrange my wardrobe, toiletries and make up cupboard. Year end is coming and it's about time to chuck, dump the things that has accumulated over the last 10 months. = )