Life sucks for me these past 3weeks straight down from CNY eve I haven't got what I call a Real break. It has been really hard work for both my body and my mental state of health!(read: I am not happy) Sometimes, I feel like shouting, ranting to let out or else I will become crazy one of these days and soon become one of the depression victims! Stress, Tension, Headaches and missing my bed syndromes I have been getting! I want to rant, I want to scream!~~~~~~~~~
I realised I can't handle stress after all.. I hate to work so much! I am just not that many people who can thrive or even work better under stress! Stress makes me want to throw in my white towel! My brain gets so tired these days I can't even think! I have been so furstrated and upset for being a slave to work, I binge on food and gets fatter despite more work load and the tiredness that wears me off!!!!!!!!! I am so lerthargic after work I become a mute at home and things gets on my nerves! I can no longer laugh at things and I can't RELAX at all, I vent my bottled negative emotions on my love ones I feel sorry for and yet I can't control myself again the next day! Just leave me alone and give me a break! I just don't wish to talk and don't fuss over me although I know you are just being caring!
-I want more quality time to myself please.. There's so much things I want to learn and yet I am slave to work. ( Time management is needed!)
-Sleep is more important to me these days and I just want to rot at home. Home is where I just want to stay put!
I have neglected many, many, many(my loves and friends) but I am VERY tired these days. Sorrry...
Much as I would like to go shopping, but my legs is so aching, the thought of walking for hours put me off! Rest and rot at home is the better option and this explains why my post is here today!
Where is the Grace who last time can even afford time to admire flowers by the road and now can't even have the time to surf net after home? Where is the Grace who could happily coop herself up reading and reading in the big bookstore for hours and after that, stepping out HAPPY and REVIVED? Where is the Grace who could often pop surprises for her friends at their workplaces with time in her own hands and even wait for them to knock off followed by a goody goody feast together? Where is the Grace who could go wherever she likes,as and when she likes and do things at anytime she desires?
What is the point of having much more money in Grace's pockets and in the end she's not happy? No time for herself, for love ones and even no time to spend the money, no time to learn the things she wants?? And worse she feels suffocated and furstrated as time is no longer hers and everything has to be planned before done and not like before... Why do I have to work so much? I would rather be like last time to work the time my body can afford to work and not overwork. Go to the beach and lie down on the sand anytime I feel unhappy.. Nevermind that I am bloke so long as the time still belongs to me, even if it means eating bread and drinking plain water, but I am fine cos I can afford to choose the things I want. It has been so long I am not able to do these..
I seriously hope things will get better for me the next monthsss after I bid goodbye to this messy, busy like crazy february.. Or I will really jump out of this well, just like a frog trapped in the well and hasn't been out to see the world.. Yes, I am this desperate and things is really getting HOT for me!
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