unforgettable 1010.

1010 the day to be always marked down in my lifetime calender since 5years ago.

1010 the day i wished to be left alone, quietly doing my own things whilst the chain of events happened without my knowing at all. until that call which delivered that fatal news later at night... it was supposed to be a happy call i looked forward to every night before bed. a shot of endorphins to send me to sleep happily in my dreams chasing butterflies. but, everything was wrong....

1010 the day, i at first thought what i heard was the biggest joke on me ever! i laughed! and i cried minutes later! i laughed loudly and cried gasping for air next i could have been the princess of Caldecott overnight... it just dawned on me suddenly that, whatever i heard was true... i heard " dear, everything is true, sunny is not lying and i am not playing a joke on you." TELL ME!! WHAT CAN I DO?! HOW? WHY? WHAT ABOUT ME!? it seems like yesterday while typing. everything is still so fresh in my mind.. what i did during the day, how i went home alone, how my lil bro was waken up by my controlled sobs, what was my ma's first sentence when she learnt about what happened, how i lost my appetite and all...

1010 the day i weeped and weeped, cried and trembled, sitting up and lying down hugging my pillows tight fearing inside and says this can't be true until i see everything with my own eyes the next day! i felt lifeless then.. i weeped til the wee hours and doze off without knowing... i never cried like this anymore apart the day, my grandpa passed away when i was 8years old.

unforgettable 1010 first love could ever give. will never forget this day. it is deeply etched in my memory just like my love ones' birthdays.. just that, this is a little painful to remember.

compared to what i was feeling for the initial 3years, wound bleeding and raw, 5years has passed and i am getting better each year. life still goes on, happy or not.. why not learn to be happier? i no longer break down without control. at least now i am able to put things down with a smile. time heals all wounds, this is really apt in my case. i guess for everyone else too.. for me, i took a considerable amount of time to walk through.

i no longer weep, the pain is still there. just that things are no longer the same anymore..
u have made me stronger the min i walked through. my eternally ardent confidante and support, u heard the rest. = )